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From my heart…

words from Paris... 2014

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A Paris Journey… / From my heart / From my heart…

Filed Under: From my heart October 2, 2014, 15:57

A collection of my heart words for this year…  I hope you enjoy my ramblings… 🙂
 

More writings circa 2007 – 2009… some are even relevant today! 🙂

 

You are… (words penned for my darling son, Marc in 2008…)

You are
the light
that spreads
warmth
to my heart

You are
the candle
that shows
my heart
the light

You are
the flame
that burns
brightly
in my soul

You are
the embers
that glow
long
after the flame

You are
my shelter
when
my body
is weak

You are
my rock
of Gibraltar
when times
are tough

You are
my reason
for loving
you are
quite simply

my everything…

 

To know love…

It was there
right in front
of our eyes
but for
whatever reason
we didn’t
see it
or want it
badly enough
so we bid
it farewell
and continued on
in a blur
of lost days
and
sunless nights
until
its defiant glare
returned
to give us
another chance
and this time
we both knew
how lucky
we were
to know love…

 

I do not want…

I do not want for love
Yet I yearn for closeness

I do not want for happiness
Yet I yearn for laughter

I do not want for riches
Yet I yearn for simplicity

I do not want for solitude
Yet I yearn for stillness

I simply yearn for something
To take away the ache

Of your absence in my heart…

 

Mosey-town edges…

I sit here
on the edges
of your mosey-town
searching for
a glimpse
of your
smile me eyes
that could
if I let them
melt my heart
with just
a millisecond glance
I can see
all your rolling hills
and highways
stretched out
forever
before
my eyes
that could
if I let them
get me lost
In a way
I might like
a little too much
I know now
your mosey-town
is filled
with beauty
and all things
that spring
from
the goodness
of your soul
that could
if I let them
fill me up
only to find
the exit
replaced with
you are here
not that I
would mind…

 

Broken locks and handles…

No
it doesn’t bother me
I knew it would be this way
you being straightforward
me being complex

And
your doors are open for a reason
in fact they were never closed
the locks were broken well before
the handles were in place

Yes
your windows still attract
all the eyes of passersby
who crave to know you
for a brief moment in time

But
your mystery is unscrambling
slowly as your buttons fall
and your eyes linger
on the inner sides of my smile

For
it’s there that I glimpse your soul

 

You didn’t seem to notice….

(again, not where I am today, but back in 2008, very much my thoughts)

You didn’t seem to notice
But I was always there
Outside your door that was closed
Of which you never opened

Too consumed with your work
Full of demands of others
And none with my name on them
Not that it mattered

You didn’t think to say
one word of kindness
Or leave me with a smile
To get me through my day

My heart can’t live without a smile you know…

 

The wonderful of you…

You leave
love words
on my mornings
that smile
my inner sides
with satisfaction
in a way
that is not
quite proper
for a proper girl
with manners
and from ten times
one thousand miles
they carry their
dulcet tones
with
ever changing
hues
that brighten
my day
and warm
my heart
I think
the wonderful
of you
is simply
wonderful…

 

Because you smiled…

You asked me
when
and I said
soon
you asked me
how
and I said
where
you asked me
why
and I said
because
no-one
lives forever
and memories
are made
of moments
that count
for all
to see
and then
you smiled
and the soon
was kept for later….

 

Hurry Back…

You said
hurry back
from whatever
it was
I had to do
without you
and that
we should not
waste our time
waiting
but leave
that to others
who prefer
living
without loving
and laughter
without meaning
it was then
the essence
of your
hurry back
words
were
understood…

 

Strangers who smile hello…

You said
things happen
for a reason
and the planets
must have
been aligned
to bring us
together
on an evening
where one was
waiting
for the other
to smile hello
in a room
filled
with strangers
you said
we had
things
in common
but there
would be
new ones
to be found
in unexpected
places
where a glass
half full
is a glass
filled
with promise
and that
if you could
you would
take me there
to find them
just so
happiness
could linger
longer
on both
of our parades
and every day
would be
a celebration…

 

You…

The deep brown
of your eyes
look with ease
into my soul
in a way
that smiles
my inner place
and the softness
of your gaze
holds mine
to the quietness
of your kiss
that stirs the
loveliness in me
for all to see
and
I do not mind
I do not mind…

 

My Museum…

In my
museum
of life
I hope
that there
would be
sufficient
laughter
to fill your day
abundant
smiles
to keep you
enchanted
enough
happiness
to make
you glad
ample
kindness
when you
need it
and
love
that
continues
on
with
no cover charge..

 

When I was young…

When I was young
I believed in the milky way
and all things beautiful

When I was young
I thought that if you sat upstairs in the cinema
you saw a different movie

When I was young
I learned to dance in a country hall
and I thought that was pretty cool

When I was young
my parents kissed each other goodbye and hello
and I thought that was normal

When I was young
my siblings didn’t always want to play with me
but I knew they liked me as a sister

When I was young
our neighbours were our best friends
and that felt completely ok

When I was young
I loved a boy with all my heart
but then he died

and to me nothing else mattered…

 

I could dance…

I could dance
with you
a life time
under
the sparkle
of stars
around
a moonlit
lake
beneath
a rainbow
or two
and into
a crowded room
all you have to do
is ask
for the dance
to begin
just one
slow dance
with you
would be a dream
come true…..

 

I penned these words back in 2009… seems what I wrote then has come true… I’m not sad, just reviewing my past work here… 🙂

 

Your view…

Your view is
I do nothing
my view is
I do something
your view is
I’m lazy
my view is
I’m not always
back and forth
forth and back
never ending
and so it goes
why can’t you just
for one time only
take the high ground
not in your nature
this I know
you can only
criticise and judge
rant and rave
and put me down
you are not capable
of warmth
but
one day
I will leave you
with no return
and no single word
of praise…

 

Just how it is…

I love
how I can
write my
thoughts of you
I love how
you make
me write them
from my heart
without
hesitation
or guilt
or fear
or sadness
or loss
just
my thoughts
raw
and
uncensored
just
how it is
just
how it should be
just
how It could be
but alas
it is not our time…

 

Some days…

Some days
I think of you
of late
it’s been
mostly on
a sunday
like today
as I sit quietly
in my chair
reading a book
listening to my
favourite music
and suddenly
your name
will pop into
my thoughts
and I take a minute
to stop
what I am doing
and stare blankly
out my french windows
and think of you
I remember
the red of your hair
the brown of your eyes
your smile and laugh
even your husky voice
yes,
I remember all that
but most of all
I remember that you
left me on a dark
stormy night
and died
by the side
of the road
if only
that memory
could be erased…

 

If only…

If only
our lives
were different
or the same
or opposite
or aligned
or easy
or challenged
or comforting
which one
would you
choose
for me
I would
choose
them all
a new one
for every day
every month
every season
every year
yes
I would choose
them all
without
hesitation
and in a
blink of an eye
if only
it was with you…

 

Your Smile…

Your smile
is the undoing
of me
it simply
stops me
in my tracks
and I can’t
move
until you
speak
with a
hello
or
bonjour
or
ca va
and
right
there
right then
I melt
on the spot
for a moment
or two
until
I recover
my composure
and smile
in return
at your
kindness
to me….

 

It’s not about you…

You see
it’s not
about you
it’s not
about me
it’s simply
about
the path
we have
journeyed
together
to become
us
and
no matter
how new
or how old
it is
it simply
needs
and
deserves
to be
said
out loud
it is
what
it is…

 

I get it now…

I get it now
I get the
no go zone thing
around your heart
I get the look
of don’t go there
only on your terms
on your territory
but then
you go
and gift me
your smile
and look at me
with eyes
filled with like
and once more
it all turns
to pieces
and I am held
captive by your heart
and my heart
has no complaints…

 

Just you…

It’s always
been you
from the get go
from the first time
I laid eyes on you
all those years ago
I still remember
the way you
shook my hand
too busy
to look me
in the eyes
too busy
even to
acknowledge
my name
but no matter
time and karma
worked her magic
and suddenly
we were caught up
in a love affair
of the heart
that lasted
many years
and weathered
many storms
and still
to this day
we take time
to connect
and this alone
brings me smiles
all the way from Paris…

 

Your Eyes…

It’s
your eyes
that tell me
so much
about you
I seem to
sense
when
you are
happy
sad
caring
distant
loving
aloof
upset
kind
angry
content
but mostly
I sense
when you
are present
with me
and that
alone
keeps me
focused
on your eyes
for now…

 

The Look…

I saw the look
in your eyes
tonight
I sensed
you were
upside down
inside out
and topsy turvy
with no peace
in sight
and it was then
that I wanted
to wrap my
arms around you
and tell you
all would be ok
but protocol
and good manners
stopped me
from doing that
so I simply
looked at you
and gifted
my smile
directly
to your soul
in the hope
that you would know
I was thinking
of you
with love…

 

Your Smile…

It’s your smile
that gets me
every time
whether it be
on the street
or in the bar
or passing
in your car
just your smile
that captures
a piece
of my heart
in a way
that I can’t
explain
but just
your smile
alone
can light up
like a
christmas tree
in my soul
and for this
i give my thanks…

 

Knowing…

It’s in the knowing
that we realise
we are ok
with who we are

It’s in the realising
that we understand
why we do what we do

It’s in the understanding
that we see
the person we are
in close up form
no glasses needed
just focused
on how we got here

And then
only then
we can smile
safe in the knowledge
we have come
full circle…

 

Letting go…

It’s in the
letting go
that helps us
to become free
free from the past
free from the burden
of helplessness
and worry
free from the tears
and the pain
of knowing
that tomorrow
will be the same

Yes,

it’s in the
letting go
that can help us
shape our lives
for living
in the moment
in the present
in the now…

 

Ce soir…

Ce soir
at the bar
you showed
a part of you
that I hadn’t seen
you shared a piece
of your heart
which I
was thankful for
you gifted me
a cadeau
from your
homeland
which I adored
and your
kiss goodnight
was warm
and bright
and held
promise
for a new
tomorrow
So…
thank you
for your smile
thank you
for your laughter
thank you
for you
on a cold
yet more than warm
evening
in Paris….

 

Hello…

All you have to say
is hello
in your gorgeous
gravelly assed voice
and I simply melt
and reply
with a bonjour
on the spot
complete with a smile
on my face
which is gratefully
reciprocated by you
and from there
we are simply lost
lost in the moment
lost in the hello
lost in the smile
simply lost together
in a dream
that we both know
will end in heartache
still
let’s enjoy the moment
for what it is
what it holds
what it could be
but
never
what it will be…

 

You think

You think
by letting me go
leaving my life
you will somehow
give yourself
validation
you are wrong
you are so wrong
you are not even
close to being right
instead
I think
by saying it’s over
you will somehow
magically
redeem yourself
to those around you
but
it simply doesn’t work
that way
because
I too may be broken
and broken
doesn’t necessarily
make things right

 

It seems

It seems my head and heart
are in conflict over you

My head says
stop now
walk away
it will end badly
there will only be tears
and sadness
to follow

Ahh but…

My heart says
carry on
live in the moment
laugh and smile
with him for now
enjoy yourself
simply be who
you want to be

and for now…

my heart is winning
but there will come
a time when
my head will
quietly say
I told you so…

 

In my life…

In my life
there are
many things
I wish for
many things
I hope for
many things
I need
many things
I want
but
at the end
of my day
I simply
want you
but alas
you
I will never have

Be careful
what you wish for
I wish for you …

 

I see…

I see
you managed
to crawl
under my skin
“mon dieu
ce n’est pas possible”
and yet
it is
what it is
and you
yes you
seem to think
that all
is not lost
even though
I tell you
nothing
is ever
what it seems
it’s just you
just me
and only
for this
moment
in time
but then
you go
and simply
smile
and I am lost
forever in a dream…

 

You Again..

It’s you again
you are back
to bring light
to my journey
gift smiles
and laughter
to my day
tell me
I am beautiful
tell me
I am yours
but no
in reality
I will never
be yours
I will simply be
another bow
to your string
of lovers
and for now
that works for me
but
there will come a time
when I will
quietly say adieu
and
you
will be the one
to lose…

 

Your eyes…

It seems
your eyes
are the undoing
of me
they seek me out
whenever we meet
and hold my glance
with an easy smile
they sparkle at me
and beckon me
to stay
stay
they say
enjoy the music
of the hour
and dance
for only us
so we can
linger
but a moment
longer
in your presence…

 

A Tear…

I saw a tear fall
from your eye today
as my hands
gently massaged
your tanned body
I didn’t ask why
I wish I did
but no
I simply let you
have your moment

perhaps
it fell because
you were sad
you were happy
you were lost
so many reasons
to blame a tear
falling from an eye
yet
no questions asked
no answers received

So
I simply wiped it away
as gently as I could
and in that moment
I understood
your feelings
were in check
and my heart
was filled with like
for you…

 

Today in Paris…

Today
in the Jardins des Plantes
I cried some tears of loss
tears of loss
for my beloved parents
my grandparents
my aunts, uncles and cousins
my first love who left me too soon
my friends, too many to name
my darling dogs, trent and oliver-james
and all too soon it will be my otto-jacques
but then
after my tears subsided
I smiled
for I knew that each of them
in that moment
had visited me today
while I was sipping my cold rosé
with the sun gods
in my favourite parc in Paris
and I gave thanks for my day…

 

Rambling thoughts from lunch….

No.1

Today I take my lunch
in a little hole in the wall
on rue mouffetard
It is a glorious day out
so I won’t linger long here
But I do want to give thanks that I have
some special people in my life
who love me, care for me,
know me from the inside out
and still choose to stay with me
and that alone brings me a smile
as I eat my lunch and sip my vin rouge
in the little hole in the wall
on rue mouffetard

No.2

For now, my heart
is enjoying its dance with you
the tune you play makes it skip a beat
sometimes a little off key
but always in time to the drums
the constant sound of the drums
asking their question
‘is there more, is there more’
and that alone
keeps my heart dancing

No.3

Your eyes sparkle at me
from pools of darkest brown
that draw me in
and I am rendered helpless
in their presence

No.4

You gift me smiles
so wide and so full
that sometimes my heart
has no option
but to skip a beat
and dance to your tune

No.5

My thoughts
are rumbling, tumbling
inside my head
My words
are juggling, struggling
to come out
And then I think of you
and all is clear
It’s all because of you
It’s all because of you
and now
I know
I am free to write

No.6

It’s like you
beckoned me
to follow you
down the stairs
and kiss you with abandon
not caring
who was watching

By the way
the kiss was
amazing

No.7

You sat at the bar
and smiled in my direction
you looked at me
with like and bad intention
and a stolen kiss on the stairs
later in the evening
had me thinking of you today

No.8

You there
checking me out
from the safety of the bar
don’t you know
I like you
don’t you know
I could easily
fall for you
but I will not
as my heart
is well protected
from love
and all its complications

No.9

It’s your smile
that caught me off guard
when you kissed me hello
and the glint in your your eye
as you looked at me
from across the bar
may have melted
a little of the iceberg
protecting my heart

No.10

A kiss is nothing more
than two lips pressing together
But before the kiss
there holds a promise
of excitement, intrigue,
lust, like, passion for things
yet unspoken but implied
and it’s here
in this moment
that love or like
has its chance

No.11

These feelings for you are new
I can’t seem to place them for now
but they are definitely there
bubbling away under the surface
scheming a way inside my head
to become reality in life
I’m not scared by this
I know that what happens
happens for a reason
and the Universe has matched
you with me
and I’m ok with that
It’s just that the signals
need to be clearer
than what they are
for me to recognise
that love or like
maybe knocking at my door
But for now
I will take it as it comes
No regrets ever

No.12

You there with a smile
that can light up a room
You there with a laugh
that can fill a void
You there with your words
that can brighten a day
You bring joy and happiness
to those around you
You gift us well

 

To my son….

I hope you will think of me with love
I hope you will remember my smile
I hope you will remember my laugh
I’ve loved you from the moment I knew you were you
I’ve loved you every minute of every day you have been in my life
I love you with my heart and soul
You have gifted me well and I feel blessed that you are my son
So thank you .. for being you
Thank you for being the person you are today
Thank you for choosing me to be your Mom
I will love you forever
And forever isn’t long enough…

Love Mom

 

Love…

These words are written with love for one of my Muriels… Hope springs eternal my lovely friend!

Never lose hope
that is what they say
we need to keep
hope alive
within us
always
because
from hope
comes joy
from joy
comes happiness
from happiness
comes laughter
from laughter
comes smiles
and yet
you ask
where does love
come from
ahhh
love comes
when you least
expect it
so
open yourself up
free your mind
free your spirit
and love
yes love
will work her magic
just for you!

 

You…

You think
you can control me
with your words
of like
and kisses
followed by
your words of
disrespect
you are so mistaken
your words fall deafly upon my ears
and render me immune
to all things shallow
to all things
that I don’t need
in my life today
so
go be yourself with others
go smile and make their day
but
for me
that day has passed..

 

Breaking free…

I have
so many words
to write
about my life
about my first love
about my inner thoughts
never for publication
but still
they beckon me
to write them
uncensored
and with abandon
but no
for now
I will comply
with my good
catholic girl
image
but have no fear
there will come a day
when I will break free
and show the world
the real me…

 

Written with love for my daughter <in law to be> in love with my son…

My daughter in love…

And my heart smiles
as my daughter in love
with my son
chats amicably
online with me
she is kind
with her words
she gifts me laughter
that I am grateful for
she gifts me love
that I appreciate
and embrace
I love her
full stop
no other words
needed
just LOVE
for her
because
she loves
my son!

 

These words are dedicated to my darling Maurice.. he will know who he is! 🙂

For you…

And you
yes you
I will love you
forever
for
your never ending
love
for your never ending
words
of encouragement
and like
you make my day
every day
every minute
I see you online
you simply smile me
for who I am
so
thank you
for being you
Thank you for
you!

© 2014 Roniece.com

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